Why would I poke my nose into someone’s personal choices, like if they want to have children, or not?

Because really, how does it affect me if my friend decides not to have children? As a matter of fact, it doesn’t! If that is what she or he wants, to be without children, it’s their choice. Many seem to think that choosing not to have children is a selfish choice, but isn’t it just as selfish to decide to reproduce your own genes?

More women than men are being questioned about why they decide not to have children, and we have to stop doing that. It’s a personal choice, their choice, and it’s got nothing to do with the rest of us. A woman without children is as much of a woman with children.

Stop saying to young women who say they don’t want kids, things like “Oh, you just wait and see, one day you will come around and want your own children”, or “life will be so empty without children”. Maybe your life will feel empty without (your) children, or maybe you always dreamt of being a parent. But we don’t all share the same dreams.

Even as a mother myself, I’m actually provoked each time I see/hear other women being questioned about why they don’t want children. Why is it that they have to explain or justify that choice? We never ask people to justify their choice of career, do we? So why is it so important to us to know why people, in particular women, chose not to have children?

I don’t have the answer to that question, but what I can say, is that I don’t see why it should be of any interest to me. It might be worth adding that some people really want kids, but they can’t have them, for various reasons. Insisting on asking them about when they are going to start a family or why they haven’t got children yet, is actually very disrespectful, and stir emotions better left alone at social gatherings. It’s not your right to know everything.

With the holiday season coming up, you might find yourself in company of people who has decided to live their lives differently than you. As they will probably never demand an explanation from you as to why you decided to have children, don’t demand an explanation from them either, because frankly speaking, they really don’t owe you one.