Dreams and (selfimposed) limitations

“We can rise above our limitations only once we recognize them”
– B.K.S. Iyengar
I have “stolen” this quote from a friend of mine who put it on her blog, asking the question: “Have you discovered unconscious limitations that have prevented you from reaching your goals?” And what is there to answer other than yes? I think that everybody that reflects about their lives now and then has to admit that we put limitations to ourselves, both consciously and unconsciously. Sometimes the limitation is as simple as time. Every day we have 24 hours at our disposal, and for most people those hours are consumed by sleeping, eating, work, some time spent with family and maybe friends, and if there’s anything left it might be spent watching tv, reading a book or doing your hobby (whatever that might be). There’s not much time left for expanding our horizons, searching in ourselves for a deeper meaning of it all. We have limited time resources for travelling, and of course limited economical resources to wander off and explore the world. Or? I can be very academic here and say it’s all about a matter of defining the term “explore the world”. Most people, I guess, would instantly think I’m referring to a long journey to the most remote corners of the world in search for the meaning of life. And of course it can be. But it can also be in inner travel, a search in your dreams of things you would like to accomplish. It doesn’t have to be big dreams of fame and glory, but a skill you would like to develop, a travel you would really like to make.

I have discovered that I have plenty of limitations I have put for myself. And even if I have no more time than other people, it’s not really the time factor that concerns me or put the true limitation. It’s as simple as I am a coward. A big one that is. I’m simply afraid of failing, of making a fool of myself, but most of all I’m afraid of disappointing myself. In other words it’s very simple and incredibly silly. Why is it that we are so afraid of losing control now and then? What’s the worst that can happen? I dare say the worse than can happen is that I fall and perhaps I get bruised. It’s just to rise up! Make a lesson of it; experience gained, knowledge gained, try a different approach next time. What’s so bad about that?
After letting my cowardice prevent me from expanding my horizon and exploring the world and life itself for years I’ve gradually managed to overcome it. Alas, there is still a long way to go, but at least I know what’s the true reason keeping me from reaching my dreams, and that’s a good start. Sometimes it’s a hard battle to fight, but I find better and better weaponry to fight it as I go. Life has so many opportunities and it would be a pity to waste a lot of them due to cowardice.

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The things we take for granted

The other day I got stuck in rush hour in Nice, and everybody who travels regularly with their car to work and back knows how boring it is to be stuck in traffic like this. Let me say at once that for me this is not an everyday event, it happens only from time to time. Anyway, sitting there in the car, moving with the speed of a land turtle and looking to all the cars I thought that even if this is not something very pleasant, at least the rush hour is an indication that people are free to move wherever they want and at any time. They are fortunate to have a job and a car, to have access to all roads, to have access to fuel. Traffic is not jammed due to road blocks or mines along the road. We’re not queuing up waiting to show our papers and have our cars searched, with the risk of being held back for hours due to the bad mood of a soldier. Or worse, we could risk being harassed, abused, and refused to continue.

 It so easy to get irritated when stuck in traffic like this. I mean, I certainly have better things to do. The same I often think when I have to wait “for ages” in the line at the cashier at the supermarket. But again, I should rather think about how fortunate I am who can go to a huge supermarket and buy whatever I want and still some more. There’s no shortage of anything, everybody can buy what they need and want (in the sense there are no rations to think about. The economical aspect of buying whatever people want is another topic).

Every so often I find myself waiting in the waiting area of my son’s paediatrician. And that’s yet another story about waiting. Everybody knows that doctors are always late on their schedule, and maybe ours are no worse than the rest, but at times we wait for almost two hours after scheduled appointment. I have to admit I get upset sometimes, as this is really not the fun place to spend the day. But we have access to a paediatrician, who has a nice and clean office (and a clean and big waiting area, even if it’s rather dull), he takes good care of my son and takes his time with the kids (which is probably the cause of the delays). If my son is ill he prescribes medication, and I can go to the pharmacy and get it straight away. There’s no shortage of anything. So what am I complaining about? In other parts of the world people walk for days to get to a hospital or a rural Clinique, and usually a poorly facilitated one that will be. If people have to seek the Clinique during an epidemic or disaster sometimes they have to wait a day or two to see the doctor!  No medicines available, or when they are often at a high cost. If the patient is severely ill there might be a long way to travel to a better facilitated hospital. A travel that will often be done on foot, on a donkey- or bull chart, or if lucky, in an old car on a bumpy and dusty road. I even know of cholera patients who has been too weak to walk that they family has brought them in to the Clinique in a wheel barrel! In the western world we call for an ambulance if the patient is too weak or ill to be taken by car. The contrast is somewhat grotesque.

When being in Europe for longer periods of time I sometimes have to remind myself of all this; that I am among the most fortunate people on this planet.  I can move wherever I want whenever I want, I lack nothing, in fact I have more than I need of material things. I go to sleep in a warm bed at night; I can have a warm shower any time during the day. I can go to the market without fearing bombs and snipers, I can walk everywhere outside the road without fearing mines. If I get sick I go to the doctor or the hospital and I get treated. When giving birth to my child I do so in a safe environment with skilled personnel present and I can even have anaesthetics if I want.

I realize that I have to remind myself more often that what I take for granted is for others a dream or a luxury. I have no reason to complain about anything. I should be immensely grateful for living in Europe.