Today, November 25, is the international day for the elimination of violence against women.

Unfortunately, violence against women is still a major problem. Both domestic violence, and in society at large.

Women are always obliged to think about how to behave and to do risk-management when out in public places. We have long since understood that whatever we say or do, or the way we dress, can be used against us, should we be attacked by a man.

We are obliged to think about safety when we walk alone on the streets at night. Stay alert, footwear to run in, keys in one hand, cell phone in the other. Or we spend money on a taxi, as it’s better to be safe than sorry.

I don’t think men in general have any idea about how many things we women have to think about, just to get home safe at night.

Domestic violence is still a major problem in many countries. And we must not forget that it’s not that long ago that it actually became a criminal offense. For way too long it was seen as a conflict between spouses, belonging to the private sphere, not something to bother the police with. (This is still the case in many countries.)

Fortunately that has changed, but the problem has not disappeared. And it’s still under-reported. Add to that, that not all abuse comes in the form of physical violence. It can just as well be psychological in the form of control over the other person’s choices, and/or threats. This is harder to prove, as there’s no physical evidence (like bruises, broken bones etc.).

In the most severe cases, the violence is fatal, causing the death of thousands of women every year.

Much is done to help women escape domestic abuse, but the best thing would of course be to prevent it from happening in the first place.

We have a long way to go, but part of the solution should be to bring to attention from an early age the misconception that violence is an integrated part of being conceived as masculine. The two have nothing to do with each other.

A real man doesn’t hit his partner. Or his kids, or anyone else for that matter.

A real man doesn’t rape, he makes sure that his (female) friends make it home safe and sound.

In the end, women don’t want to be protected by men, we want protection from the perpetrators, so that we can feel safe no matter where we are, at any time of the day or night.

And don’t forget, as parents, we are responsible for our childrens’ socialization and moral education. Make sure you raise your boys to be good men.