Despite what many people think, we are far from gender equality. Neither in the professional domain, or in the domestic. Women are still paid less than men. Sectors predominantly female, are less valued, and thus less paid, than male dominated sectors. Even after the Covid-pandemic, when the whole world was cheering for the nurses, little has happened to their working conditions and their pay check. Likewise when we speak about school/education. All politicians are very concerned about the level of their country’s students in international tests like the PISA, wanting to be the best, but when discussing the pay and working conditions of the teachers, it’s hard to find the money.

Our children’s education is what is going to get them jobs and income in the future, so why is it so hard to give a decent pay to the people whose responsibility it is to provide this education? Is it because it is predominantly women working in the (public) schools up to a certain level?

But it’s not just in public sector that there’s a gap between the genders in pay. It happens all over, also in the private sector and in the movie business to add a couple of examples. So no, equality at the workplace has not arrived.

The same is true when it comes to domestic life. Women still take on much more of the domestic chores and logistics, than the men, even when both parties are working full time.

As I mentioned in one of my previous posts, girls are still raised different than boys, in the respect of taking care of a household. And the women are punished much harder than men if things are not “up to standard” at home, being it cleanliness, homemade food, following up on birthdays and other anniversaries (both family and friends, and children’s friends).

Women are expected to drop whatever they are doing for the needs of anyone else. Children need attention? Mum is coming. Children need help with homework? One moment, darling, I’ll come help you. Child sick and home from school? Mum is usually the ones who stays home from work. Elderly family members need assistance? Be there as fast as I can.

This constant disruption of own activities, and work, is something women just accept. Like there is no alternative. And this constant rupture also influences women’s careers and pay check in the long run. Or, if they are really focused on juggling both family and career, they are often sacrificing almost everything else, like taking care of their own health, going out with friends, or just read a book on the sofa (a book that has nothing to do with work or childcare, but simply for entertainment).

Most mums I know are up and about, taking care of their family’s needs no matter their own condition. We pop an Advil, and get on with business as usual, because we are expected to do so.

Alright, the occasional Scandinavian reader might protest a bit. But don’t you forget that you’re in the lead. Here in France, things are rather different. Even if we have free childcare from 3 years (pre-school, not kindergarten), the children don’t go to school on Wednesdays. Or they finish at 12am that day. Meaning that parents have to organise one way or another; leisure clubs, grandparents or one parent stay at home every Wednesday. And guess who that usually is? It’s mum, of course.

Who is usually running to pick up their kids from after-school activities before it closes at 6.30 pm? Mum. Meaning that she has to adjust her work to fit the logistics of the family. Usually under the pretext that the husband is earning more, so again, no equality.

In other words: Women work for less pay in the workplace, they take more of the burden at home, and they run like Forrest Gump every day to be in the right place at the right time, and at the end of the day, they are punished economically for doing less professional work than the men, and so they have less pension. If all the “invisible” chores done by women every day were to count as workhours during a week, our pension would look very different.

If parents start to educate their children at home in the same manner, regardless of gender, I hope for a better future for both women and men. Because men are absolutely capable of doing the same tasks at home as the women they live with. Just like a woman can be an astronaut, a man can be a caretaker. A woman can use a screwdriver and an electric drill, just as a man can mop a floor and change diapers. If we raise our children to be independent in more ways than the economic sense, and encourage them to use a wider range of their capabilities, including their caretaking cababilities, equality between genders will arrive at a much faster pace.

Let us get rid of the stereotypes that says that a man should be the main breadwinner of the household, and the woman the primary caretaker, and instead create a better symbiosis between the genders.

I will write about that symbiosis in the near future. In the meantime, I hope you enjoyed reading, whether you agree or not. It’s possible to leave a comment on the subject J